One of the first choices that many young writers face when composing novels or short stories is to select the tense they prefer.
You only have two viable options in most situations. The story can get written in the present or the past tense.
Although future tense is technically possible, the wording would lack credibility since no one can predict what might happen tomorrow.
We also have these choices when speaking with others. The differences in the present vs. past tense are important to distinguish because it provides more accuracy to descriptions of the moment as they are or were.
The Difference Between “I Miss You” and “I Missed You”?
When comparing “I miss you” with “I missed you,” we have an example of present vs. past tense. The present tense is helpful for describing something that happens right now or a continuous action that occurs. Past tense is useful for descriptions of something that already happened.
If you think about the present tense, it involves something that happens right now. You are “reading” this post, but tomorrow you will have “read” it.
The same principle applies to thoughts, feelings, and actions. If you feel homesick, you “miss” home.
When you return home, you would say that you “missed” being there.
If one person expresses this emotion to another in “I miss you” or “I missed you,” another element comes into the equation.
With “I miss you,” the conversation indicates that separation exists between the person speaking and the listener. If the term “I missed you” gets used, it communicates that the separation between the two is gone.
You could say “I miss you” to someone correctly. This phrase might occur when a relationship breaks up, and you wish that person were still there with you while talking to them. The phrasing represents the relationship’s separation in this example instead of the space between two people.
What Are the Advantages of Using Present Tense?
When you use present tense to convey your feelings, thoughts, or actions, you’ll discover that this form of expression comes with a few advantages.
1. Present tense makes the action real.
Writers often use the present tense because it makes the narrative feel like something that happens in real life. It engages people more because they can empathize or imagine the circumstances as they’re presented, which keeps everyone listening and active in conversations, stories, and more.
If you convey emotion in the present tense, it has a powerful impact on others. How would you feel if someone says, “I miss you?”
2. It intensifies the moment.
When present tense gets used to convey emotion, it gives people the feeling that we’re all dealing with the situation together.
Even with a powerful emotion expressed in words like, “I miss you,” the recipient only knows as much as that information. They must tap into their own feelings when they missed others to have an empathetic response.
That’s how people get drawn into the moment, become closer, or push each other further apart.
3. Present tense information takes a deeper point of view.
When authors write stories, it is often in the third-person perspective. Although first-person writing has a place in the writing, writers can’t take a deeper point-of-view in the story to deliver more information to the reader.
We provide the same added depth when speaking, even if it is only momentary. It is more powerful to say, “I miss you,” because it creates different questions for the other person.
- How much do they miss me?
- Are they looking forward to seeing me when I return?
- Will they take care of themselves while I am gone?
When someone says, “I missed you,” it’s almost like a throw-away statement. Although it expresses gratefulness that someone has returned safely, it doesn’t deliver the same depth simply because it is the past form.
If you changed “I missed you” into “I am grateful for your safe return,” the tense shift creates a more profound emotional response.
4. Present tense can lead to unreliable information.
When speaking, the issue with present tense is that it leaves people with less information about the current circumstances. Although we all get the concept of “missing” someone, it is up to the individual to determine what that means when no other descriptors are available.
When was the last time you felt homesick? Did it create a deep longing in your heart to return to your usual routines?
Did you picture everyone that was missing from your life at that moment to cope with the fact that they were not there?
Does it feel like a heavy weight sits on your heart until the person returns?
It is up to the narrator in a story to provide complete information so that we understand everything that happens in the present tense. Without that data, we’re only left with assumptions – which can be an advantage or a disadvantage.
Is It Better to Use Past or Present Tense When Speaking?
Although writers use past tense often and speakers tend to use present tense more, both options are acceptable. It is more about how you want to convey information to someone. With “I miss you,” it is a persistent feeling that exists because of parting. “I missed you” indicates the same emotion without the separation.
When someone says, “I missed you,” it can indicate that a loved one who has been away from home and now has returned.
This phrasing can also indicate that someone is deciding to move on from a previous relationship. An ex-girlfriend might say, “I missed you,” to describe how she felt during the time of the breakup, but now feels differently.
That’s why the purpose and context of the expression are essential to consider. When you know the reasons behind why people say the things they do, it is much easier to be on the same page with your communication.
